Monday, May 23, 2011

Who let all the animals out!?!?!

My mom and I decided to venture to the zoo today and it was an interesting day...understatement, maybe.

Driving to the zoo, we pull up to a van that has a bunch of dog stickers all over it. And then there's those stick figure stickers of just a guy and a dog. So, I'm like, wow this guy is pretty damn lonely, just him and his dog....and then I read the bumper sticker he has...."I LOVE VAGINA". NO WONDER WHY YOU'RE ALONE WITH YOUR FREAKING DOG!!! NO SANE WOMAN IS GOING TO SWOON OVER A MAN WHO HAS A TRAMP STAMP FOR HIS VAN STATING HOW MUCH HE LOVES THE VAGINA....

We get to the zoo and it must have been "Ugly Person Day" or all the animals escaped and were running around.  Now, I'm not the most gorgeous woman in the world by any means BUT I felt like I was among a different breed today. One that I've never encountered before. Well, I did encounter a few of them at the Pville International Food "Festival" (I use the term festival loosely because I'm pretty sure a few feet of random food carts does not count as a festival)....I'm getting away from my point LOL

Were walking around and decide we don't want to walk any longer and want to take the tram. So were sitting in line and then an ambulance comes and stops our trip. The tram can't move. So for me, this is great because the ambulance is a quick thing. Get in, get out, get the sick person to a hospital. To the rest of the world, this is an unwelcomed delay and they all get out of line. So were moving our way up in the line...and then this old man (alone) decides that the back of the line just wont do. So he takes it upon himself to fully make his way to the front of line. He passes us and the couple in front of us and that is as far as he got because a wheelchair was blocking him (damn wheelchair, always gets in the way LOL). So he sits down next to the couple. Then, the tram lady says "Party of Two?" to the couple, and the man stands up, waves his one finger in the air (no, not the middle one) and runs up to the lady...THE DAMN MAN GETS ON THE TRAM! So now I'm cracking up because I can't believe him. The lady comes back and gets the couple. Then comes back for us and says there is room for us. So she shows us where to shit and WHO DO WE GET TO SQUEEZE IN NEXT TO?! The freakin' line jumper himself, old man river. I get in the tram and wait for my mom and baby to hop in. My mom goes to get in, but takes a look behind me and almost loses it because she started laughing so hard. I had to take baby because she couldn't even get her behind on the tram, that's how hard she was laughing. Then baby looks over at him and starts hysterically laughing. Out of nowhere.

So now the tram is moving and we have a family in front of us. Obviously Jewish because of the yamaka. So the kids were SO incredibly bad and so my mom was giving me the eyes like, "OMG!!". Well, we get off the tram and I said, "wow, what was that?" and she boldly states, "THEY ARE ORTHODOX JEWS! THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL YAMAKAS"....(yes, thank you mom, I realized that, I was actually refering to the badly behaved children.....not the yamakas). As she says it, not realizing how loud she is, THERE THEY ARE!!! Right next to us....I just put him head down and pushed the stroller...all my mom could say was, "NICE".

We walk into the place where the monkeys are and now guess who is back? The Line Jumper. And he's going the same pace as us. That's awkward. Why do you have to go the same pace? Why can't you be one step ahead or behind...? So, he's trying to get all the monkeys attention by tapping on the glass. NEWS FLASH, THE GLASS IN AN INCH THICK. THE MONKEYS CAN'T HEAR YOU, NOR DO THEY CARE TO ENTERTAIN YOUR TAPS IF THEY COULD HEAR YOU! He realized his taps weren't working. So he decides to whistle at them...not working. So what does any sane line jumper decide to do? MONKEY CALL THEM!?

By this time, I have lost it. I can't contain my laughter anymore. I decided it was time to get his picture. So I waited for him as he was stuck in the crowd at the one monkey glass.  I pretended I was going to take a picture of the fish tank and I got him!!!

This was by far, the best entertainment I got all day. It just made me laugh so hard. I wish I would have followed him for the rest of the day so I could just snap pictures...

Next on our trip at the zoo was the giraffes. Baby LOVES giraffes. Not sure what it is, but he's in love. He has Sophie the Giraffe and it's his favorite. So, on our walk to the giraffes, we catch a guy who has jumped the ropes, picking long grass by the handfuls. My mom and I aren't shocked by anything at this point and so we look and shake our heads and chuckle...then we realize that him and his daughter are feeding the giraffes. FEEDING THE GIRAFFES FOOD THAT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE EATING. There is a sign that clearly says, No Feeding Our Wildlife. There are ropes that to a normal person would say, KEEP OUT....not to these people. They have the giraffe reaching to get to them, eating the grasses. They are kidding the giraffes and petting them. I didn't realize this was a freakin' petting zoo.

BUT, that being said, I got some great shots and baby got to get up close and personal with a giraffe and started laughing so hard at the mouth full of grass and weeds that the jackasses were feeding I was still happy :)

Last was the Elephants. It's a new exhibit and it's amazing. They have the cutest little elephant statue that you can sit on. I decide I want baby to get his picture...and I waited a long time in line for this picture. Here is the result, which I found out later on when I looked at the pictures as we were driving home....

Clearly, there is no elephant statue in sight. My son does not look like he is riding on the elephant. We have some great pictures of the trees. When I asked what happened she said, "{baby} is in it, that's all that matters...." (sigh....)

So all in all, it was a great day at the zoo. I love spending time with my mama and baby loves his nana so much.  We really did have a great time there and can't wait to go back...well, maybe we will go to a different zoo next time... ;)

Here are a few other pictures that I was able to snap:

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